Dala Se7ens

4^th Sep dala sevens:

I had not been to a rugby event in Kisumu City for approx 9 years. And i was sure the change will be amazing as all this was pre-Raila and Pre-Obama and we were still under Baba Moi. From what i vaguely remembered of Kisumu in the year 2000:

An experience. The ocean makes women woozy and weak kneed. In kisumu, there is no ocean and only several boda bodas and motorpikis zooming past hooting constatntly. The agitation of the passengers, pedestrians and matatu drivers is dangerously climbing to tribal clashes level. One day, kisumu will explode. And raila will step and in and prove to all doubters that he has a fanaticism support in Nyanza that is closely rivalled by only JC himself.

The smooth talking jaluo sales persons will keep you entertained for the entire trip. The one selling “window wassing liquid” for your windscreen, to the “Kuful” merchants at the busiest round about in Africa. Several places to visit including the highly acclaimed “lunch at the beach” serving Ugali and a large tilapia are a must see. The heat is almost unbearable so carry your sunscreen BIG digagas (preferably not purchased from mutua at the traffic lights on your way out of Nairobi) and a massive hat. Underwear, extra clothing, toothbrush et al are all extra luggage that might not be necessary depending on your hygiene standards and motives for the weekend.

If a person travels 350 kms in a car travelling at 100 km/h, how long will his journey take? That was the theory I used as I left Nairobi at 0600 hrs intending to reach Kisumu at 0930 hrs. All within the Kenyan highway speed limit. That journey took me four and a half hours but nilifika on time to watch most of the games.

The closer I approached kisumu, the more the heat. As we went down the escarpment from kericho, I was tempted to stop there and watch the rugby through binoculars. This heat was deafeningly loud (I have no better word to describe that feeling).  Past chemelil we cruised, where a passerby taught me how to steal sugarcane from a moving tractor after which we dove straight into the world’s busiest roundabout. This place is sooo confusing yet there is some order in the chaos. The boda boda baskeli wait on one side and the boda boda pikpiki wait on another. The “kuful” traders ply the centre and the mtumba vendors line one side of the road opposite the vegetable hawkers. Too much for one place. But kazi inaendelea. We took a right past the new tusky’s leaving behind the empty nakumatt warehouse at the kisumu gates.

As I enter the kisumu polytechnic gates, i hear the MC proudly announcing that kisumu is proud to host africas biggest sevens tournament. With 32 participating teams in a two day tournament. This is what I would gladly call rubbish development policies. How do you put Kisii RFC against Kenya’s finest in a pool game. Why can’t there be a parallel tournament on another pitch for these small teams? How does Dennis Mwanja dislocating Sibwor Omondi’s (some random guy) shoulder develop rugby?

Anyway, so I look for a place to sit and the rugby clubs have occupied all the tents with their respective teams. There is no space for a non-affiliate fan. You either sit with one of the teams. Or you roast under the sun. Kisumu organisers, you need to organise yourself. Not scatter tents around the park like it’s a raffle. NKT.

Day one was BORING. I mean it was an utter waste of time. Watching big teams run +50 points past a small inexperienced team was just sad. All in 15 minutes of rugby.  Day two was not as bad. The top teams were announced. And at least we knew the action will start at midday.

The Kisumu sun was burning. The girls were out and the drinks were flowing. Kweli this was going to be a great final. Kenya Harlequins play Mwamba RFC in the third final in a row. The warm up was serious and the stage set for another titans clash.

Gloria daddy’s gal was in attendance with a black dress and a black kofia. IN THIS HEAT?? Surely?? Anyone able to advice our good friend how black absorbs heat and makes it unbearable to stand in public looking like it’s a funeral? Wacha tu.

Doc was thea as well in small shorts and the look of the Quins tent when she entered the ice bath to cool down was priceless. What were the Quins guys expecting? A Baywatch moment? Ok, the shorts were kidogo hotpants-like, but she was not ati going to flick her hair and rub her bossom with the ice cold water... calm down boys, the Finals are just round the corner.  Speaking of the ice bath. The Quins boys are taking sports to another level. And for that, I thank them. Ice baths cool the body quickly and you save energy and detect injuries much faster. These boys will have a longer playing career than all their counterparts. so for that, Kudos.

Mwamba made an example of Quins by wiping their multi-coloured kit on the green and came out on top and took the lead in the series. Two out of three. Just one more and three out of five will secure them a title shot.

The final whistle blew and it was a sprint for the fans. From Kisumu to Nairobi in the shortest time possible. Redbull was the choice of drink for the driver to keep me on toes for the return 350kms. I arrived at 11 pm on Sunday night more tired than the players. But definitely happier than all but the 12 who took the cup.

Next week, Kabeberi. Is this not a Mwamba tournament? Let’s see.