Prinsloo Sevens, Nakuru

Another introduction to the Prinsloo sevens would probably be more befitting, but that’s for the ones who care more about rugby than the ills on the pitchside.

28^th Aug Prinsloo sevens:

The tour of tours… Nakuru is a few hours from Nairobi and with the nairobians obsession with naivasha, its just a few kms up the road from the gommorah that has been created next to the lake. Guaranteed to be the place to party with all your Nairobi buddies (other than Msa over Christmas) on the streets till early Sunday morning and suffer the whole of Monday trying to orient oneself to the shocking order and discipline required to switch between party and work in a heartbeat. I would suggest taking Monday off and giving yourself time to recover from such debauchery. Nakuru has been reputed as having a growing fan base and is bigger every single year. And everything costs half price. From burgers to beers to chips fungas who drink half price black ice. The only place you must fork out is for the lodgos that will be charging a premium for this special weekend.

Wanyore

By that weekend, we knew who was meant to be in the final four. If Impala, Quins and Mwamba were not in the semis, money had been poured and we should have stayed at home and promulgated with kibaki and his cronies. Speaking of promulgation, that was a State disaster. First we had a wanted man on our lands, then a rubbish poet who dared to say”tutapromulgate, tutanavigate and everything gate”, in a state function? Surely! She should be tried for treason. Is that what we are showcasing as Kenya’s finest? And then we thought the shame was over. But it’s not over till the fat lady sings. And then Achieng Abura and her counterparts stepped in. She made a crying shame of herself and all Kenyan artists in that makeshift ensemble. But there was one knight in shining armour, Eric Wainaina, Ulitusave ile mbaya, as unexciting as your song was, it was fit for the day’s purpose and you wiped the floor with the other artists’ mediocrity. We thank you for restoring some pride in Kenya’s performing arts.

What a Mess

I digress…

So instead of watching the first few fixtures of rugby, I sought shelter in a relative’s house in Nakuru to watch the promulgation after which I headed to The Nakuru Athletic club. The venue was not yet thronged and left me wondering if the promulgation is affecting attendance levels.

As the sun rises, the action rises and the cars start filing in. Levi Onkoba drove in with his office posse of Clifford Kinyua and Paul Sadat. They needed a four wheel drive vehicle to tow in the large amount of sense diminishing liquids in their possession. This group was behind the almost successful Nakuru street party. Were it not for the rain, it would have been a close contestant to the days of B&H street bashes.

The point five (pronounced “.5”) mafia were also in the house with their ability to enjoy copious amounts of alcohol while still knowing where they left their handbags and wanalala wapi… not many a woman can manage that. Ask the long legged Kisumu TM what happened to her wallet and forehead after a few vodkas on Saturday night. I’ll bet you anything she won’t remember and blame it on the AAAAAA LLLL COHOL... so as much as you love them or hate them, the point five mafia is here to stay in Kenyan rugby.

Cliff in the four wheel drive

Dr Mogere came with doggies that look like toys and I got a bit of female attention pretending I was the owner of these pets. Though I was certain I saw one of the doggies going to a corner with a mongrel of Nakuru. So I am sure a few months from now, the flawlessly white, 8 inch tall, fluffy called mumble will give birth to a brown, no fluff, no tail, 2 feet tall “mbwa koko” called Rambo.

After being defiled by the mbwa koko, they ran to safety

Cliff wa safaricom came with a brand new, black, tinted MPV and instead of offloading hoards of scantily clad, alcopop drinking teenagers, he offloaded gallons and gallons of drinking water for some random team. Such a waste of a nice car, he should have just bought a pickup.

And now to the rugby… The National Rugby players arrived in Nakuru late as they had to march past Kibaki at the promulgation ceremony so were excluded from most of the games on Day One. But the superstars were included in day two and Mwamba gave a better show of themselves and took the crown. Edgar Abere (breath) took MVP, two times in as many weeks. If this boy is overlooked, we will only forgive the selectors and coach if they bring home the commonwealth crown.

Horace Owiti redeemed himself and scored a try in the finals to make up for the past weeks (almost) unforgiveable mistake. Collins Injera has not been as amazing as we all wanted him to be. But perhaps that is because we are waiting for him to do something Godly while all he is doing is creating gaps for Abere to shine.

The move of Wilson Kópondo to Kenya Harlequins shocked many, but he has been very instrumental in Quins campaign to getting to the finals on both weekends and this is a platform for him to get to greater things. For those who don’t like Quins, where was he to go and who was he to replace? All clubs have wenyewe and no matter what happens, Wilson kopondo will be on bench even in Homeboyz if he is not on good terms with the management. Kopo, you made a good choice and you are playing Top flight rugby with a solid structured side. I am not too fond of several Quins players but I feel they know what the club is doing, so all who have issues meza wembe.

The night came and the party continued into the wee hours of the night as the deejays kept the music playing and the KWAL stand kept the throats watered. Nakuru is a perfect place to party with cheaper prices on everything and a vibrant night scene down the road at the Multi levelled Taidy’s and the spacious Summit disco.

All in all, rugby was the winner and two teams were stuck at the top with a win and a runners up position each. We all await the Dala sevens to separate the men from the boys. 

Photos courtesy of Ministry of Rugby and Viga Mogere